Blog Post Nov 30, 2016
First thing FEEL GOOD!
“I wake up in the morning, and I consciously create my day the way I want it to happen. Now, sometimes, because my mind is examining all the things that I need to get done, it takes me a little bit to settle down, and get to the point, of where I’m actually intentionally creating my day. But here’s the thing.”
“When I create my day, and out of nowhere, little things happen that are so unexplainable, I know that they are the process or the result of my creation. And the more I do that, the more I build a neural net, in my brain, that I accept that that’s possible. Gives me the power and the incentive to do it the next day.”
Quote from Neuro-scientist Dr. Joe Dispenza, in the movie What the bleep do we know?
I am known as “The FEEL GOOD Lady”. This is an honor I wear with pride. When I am out and about in my life, people often comment on how much better they feel after being with me. Again, something I am grateful for. Sure beats the alternative!
The reason this is consistently true, is because I have been practicing My FEEL GOOD Way for a long time. This means I do things that FEEL GOOD frequently throughout my day to bring me to this place. It takes practice, dedication and consistency.
Other people (usually closest friends and family) challenge me about My FEEL GOOD Way. They tell me that being happy all the time is not healthy and that going through difficult times is one of the ways we grow and heal.
And I totally agree.
My FEEL GOOD Way is NOT about being happy all the time, it is about being aware of how you feel and really doing a good job of experiencing what the feeling is and how to thoroughly embrace it. Be present with it. And explore what it is telling you.
Always reaching for a feeling that feels better.
By practicing Our FEEL GOOD Way, we can be aware of how we feel and have a nervous system that responds to things with a response that is appropriate to what is happening to you right now in present time rather than some trigger from long long ago. Bottom line of my FEEL GOOD Way, is doing something anything that feels GOOD frequently through out your day. So when you do go through different emotions, you have done something recently and will do something soon that will literally bring your chemistry into present time awareness so you can really see what is happening rather than just go where those old loops take us.
Our emotions are how we know how we feel. They are chemically driven. Our every thought creates a chemical cascade that we call emotion and every chemistry creates every thought and every thought creates the chemistry. A circle that creates our actions. When you have a sad chemistry, you will create more sad thoughts, and more sad chemistry. And yes, the more FEEL GOOD chemistry, the more FEEL GOOD!
My FEEL GOOD Way teaches us that there are tools to make us FEEL GOOD now and makes it more likely that we will be aware of this and use them. For example, Evocize Number One is as simple as just rubbing around your ears, and then dragging your fingers down toward your collar bone. Something you can do anytime anywhere in front of anyone and literally takes 10 seconds to do.
Our chemistry gets into ruts of neuro pathways that become the normal way we feel. And those feelings become very familiar. Some of this is set down when we are very small children. The brain gets used to this and thinks it is what what we want more of. Comfortable…..which is really an addiction to certain drugs that the body creates to give you these emotions of your choice. Your brain walks you through your life, looking for ways to give you the experiences that will give you the chemistry that you have set as your preferred settings. Whether those set points make you feel good or bad is up to you, but most people are just stuck in the rut.
These set points would be great if the chemical signatures were healthy and healing, but since most of them were laid down by our ancestors and a culture that has fear as it’s main vibe, most of our habitual neuro pathways revolve around fear and survival. Fear and survival instincts that come from a world VERY different than the one we are living in today. From studies done with Functional MRI’s (fMRI) science has shown us that the human brain at rest is slightly anxious. They have also determined that that can be changed.
So what my FEEL GOOD Way really is, is a practice that can help you reset those ruts, habits and neuro pathways away from tension, pain and fear, toward a habitual feeling of calm awareness, heightened well being. Usually when you see those words, it is some sort of spiritual practice or other woo woo that is being recommended, but My FEEL GOOD Way is just the science of making new habits and breaking old ones. In fact, it is quite effective as a habit breaker! I’m working on writing Quit Smoking and Other Bad Habits My FEEL GOOD Way. Stay tuned.
Bottom line, Stress vs FEEL GOOD. The more you have of one, the less you have of the other.
Whether we realize it or not, most of us live pretty good lives. Becoming aware of that, and programming our days to include focus on what is really going on around us and what we really want is actually pretty easy. By doing fun and easy practices through out our day that bring the chemistry to FEEL GOOD, we can program ourselves with the chemistry that will lead us to the belief that things will work out ok, and trust that we will have our needs met and that it is even possible to FEEL GOOD. When we FEEL it, the likely hood of it happening improves. Sure beats sitting around going over and over and over how it is not possible for a variety of reasons that are stuck in tape loops in your head. Ain’t it awful thinking. This does not serve us or the people around us.
Belief that it is possible and relieving the stress and tension that is causing real damage to your body are key to The FEEL GOOD Way. The places where you feel chronic pain are there because those muscles never get a chance to relax. Stuck in spasm. The brain has pretty much forgotten how to relax them and keeps reinforcing the tension. My FEEL GOOD Way practices help relax every part of your body which then relieves this chronic pain. It also raises your immune system and many other physical benefits, so it really is a good idea if you want to live a life where your body FEELS GOOD. Doing these practices that lower the tension in your muscles will also become the new habit, so contributes to FEELING really GOOD for the rest of your life physically and emotionally! I’ll take some of THAT!
I try to start My FEEL GOOD Way practice first thing in the morning.
How do you start your day? This is really where it all begins. The thoughts and actions that you have first thing when you wake up, are some of the most important ones of the day. Think of hearing a Bob Marley song early in the morning, and how it gets stuck there all day!
Don’t worry, about a thing, cause every litle thing, everything’s alright! WOO HOO! 😍 (song edited! haha)
If your first thought is, oh, I don’t feel good, I wish I could just stay in bed as my life does not look like it is going to be fun today, Life sucks, I can’t function without coffee, etc, etc, etc, then, that might have something to do with why you don’t feel good most days.
I have been training my brain to say out loud, “I wake up and go to sleep feeling GRATEFUL, LOVED, PROTECTED, BLESSED, and PREPARED for Miracles!” “All is well in my World”, “THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! And yes, there are a few “I LOVE YOU’s” in there too
Corny, I know……but the chemical response to this kind of thinking is valid! And after years of practice, it is easy and I do FEEL thankful when I wake up. Pavlov’s dogs.
While I am having those thoughts, I have also trained myself to notice how comfy I am and how grateful I am for my awesome bed! Having a bed outside in paradise has been helpful. Now I feel Lilli my new puppy all snuggled up in my arms, with her body pressing against my chest and her little head nestled into my neck…..oh my GOODNESS, really easy to feel loved and grateful with THAT going on, right?
Next, I will start becoming aware of my body, and try to have my first movements be one of my feet stroking and massaging the other. I have talked a lot about how beneficial foot massage is in terms of the reflexology aspect brings relaxation, healing and energy to every cell in your body, so why not start there?
Your feet love each other! And they are very good massage therapists! When you wake up with an amazing lover and there is that moment when your feet touch that sends lighting light sparks to your soul? Well, that happens when you do it to yourself too! It starts the oxytocin flowing! Explore all the ways your feet can touch and stroke each other. Try getting between the toes with your little toe from the other foot. Try using the joint where your big toe attaches to the foot to stroke the arch and ankle and what ever else you can reach of the other foot. It may feel awkward at first, but of course, the more you do it, the easier and more effective it gets! Try it right now! Even if you are wearing shoes you can feel it!
Then, I finally become aware enough to remember my morning audios. These are recordings that I have made over the years that are easy accessible on my iPod next to my bed, so I fumble over and get one of those going…….So I don’t get lost in what might be on my home screen, I use an old iPod that does not have any thing on it but music, these recordings and a few other apps that I use for my morning practice.
THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT! DO NOT CHECK YOUR PHONE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING!
There is a lot of evidence that checking your phone first thing in the morning is contributing to your stress and poor health. I think it is really imperative that you make a rule that you will not check your phone before a certain point in your morning. Ideally after you have done some sort of morning practice, cleaned up, dressed and are ready for your day. I am blessed that most days I do not “check in” before 10am, and I get up at 6am! What a gift those 4 hours are! Once in a very great while, I miss something important because of this, but not often. I had been kind of slack on this, and I finally decided ENOUGH! I made a card that says “TURN THAT DAMN THING OFF” and I place it on top of my phone when I go to bed at night. In another blog I will talk about going to bed practices and other ways to break the phone habit.
So these recordings are really fun, coming soon I will edit in a link to some on my website.
They are in my own voice, often with some soft music in the background. They are full of loving reminders that I like to hear. Hearing yourself saying these things makes a bigger impact than just reading or thinking them. Most of them are a bit like how a really loving parent might greet their child in the morning…..”oh, come here you little sweetie pie, I LOVE you!” “ You are so precious”…..and then they go on to more specific goals I might be working on or things I am trying to heal both physically and emotionally. And then they always include a pep talk about how awesome I am, and how powerful and capable I am to do my life and how loved and protected I am.
I have also been working with Louise Hay style affirmations since 1985, so I have made a lot of recordings of my version of her powerful work. Others are of me reading meditation or tapping scripts to be able to follow along without having to read them.
My recordings vary in length, most are about 10 minutes long and they keep my brain active while I go from sleep to wake so it doesn’t go off on the same old crap from yesterday. Consciously setting the chemistry at the beginning of my day. I have some that are songs I have made up and I can sing along with them, I have a lot to choose from, and often do so randomly! I also have sung the songs so much that I can sing them in my head if I don’t want to move enough to get a recording started. Love songs 😍
While I sing or listen and talk along with the recordings, I finish up my foot massage, and start to stretch a bit in my bed, do some twists. Some of the recordings actually have prompts for this….”ahhhhh, give us a big stretch honey, mmmmmmmm, that feels SO GOOD!” “ Thank you for stretching my body!” “ Mmmmmmmmmmm…..”
I also consciously think of the things I am grateful for in my life…..there are prompts for this too. By doing all this, I start the energy flowing and slow down my breath and just truly enjoy a few moments of being me, and loving me. Consciously. Consciously just means on purpose.
Soon, after what seems like forever of me very much in lovey la la land, the inevitable happens.
I have to go to the bathroom.
Party is over. Time to move out of bed space and join the waking world………it has been so lovely, THANK YOU SO MUCH!
But first, as I sit up, I stretch just a bit more, and grab the lotion that is right by the side of my bed. I squeeze some into my hands, and give myself a quick but thorough hand massage, then another squirt for my face, neck, shoulders and my ears….mmmmm. All this just takes another moment and is very cleansing. It gets the lymphatic system moving the gunk that has been stuck from being sedentary all night. After the quick massage, I clear it down out of my head and neck toward the collar bones where it dumps into the blood system to be filtered and taken away. Sometimes this part is being done while I am running toward the bathroom!
Count them. Three full body reflexology massages before I even go to the bathroom in the morning! The feet, hands, and ears, all contain a map to all the reflex points in the whole body. Not to mention massage of my face, neck and shoulders, the stretches and the kind and loving words! Not a bad way to start the day! OXYTOCIN, ENDORPHINS, OPIATES, THC! Yes please!
So, you may think this is all excessive, not to mention corny. I hear from a lot of people they don’t have time for this kind of self care……but honest to goodness, all of the stuff I wrote about above takes about 10 minutes. For most people, it is the same 10 minutes that they use bitching and moaning in their heads about how awful their lives are and how miserable, overwhelmed and stressed they are! It certainly can’t hurt to try to change the chemistry of THAT sort of vibe!
It isn’t something that I was good at when I started, right? I have been doing this sort of thing for a LONG time, and it has taken me years to develop the habit of really following through with this. But you have to start.
Of course, there are mornings when I am better at it than others. Consistency, dedication and desire are the most important parts of this practice. And there are ways to oomph up these things in your life if they are not your strong point!
I am super ADHD, so it wasn’t easy for me either. One of the way I have trained myself to be consistent is to put cards on my pillow and next to my bed and other places to remind me that this is my goal. I wrote the affirmations on cards and taped them to the wall at the head of my bed and forced myself to look at them and recite them out loud. It felt silly and not true and all the other crazy things for a while. Now after years of doing this, I mostly don’t have to struggle to get it going in the morning, it has become habit. Neuropathways. It is the chemistry I have chosen to be the groove I start my days in. And it is noticeable to others as I noted at the beginning of this writing! It is from this beginning that my FEEL GOOD Days are formed. I do FEEL GOOD first thing when I wake up and try to keep it with me all through my days.
My daily practice doesn’t end there……..I will be writing another blog soon that will pick up where this one leaves off.
Here are some questions to journal on to discover what you might want to have be your First Thing Practice. Then some action steps to create the tools needed to stay focused while you train yourself.
1. What would I want a loving parent say to me as I wake up each day.
2. What are the things that I wish I believed were true about myself and my world.
3. What are the physical ways I can show myself more love as I wake up in the morning?
4. Is there any music that inspires me that would be great to hear first thing in the morning?
5. Is there anything else I could do to feel grateful and loved as I wake up?
1. Take what you have journaled, and turn them into cards you keep on your bed.
a. Card that says “prepare for morning practice” or something like that that you leave on your pillow to remind you when you go to bed at night you can make sure everything you need is within reach when you wake up.
b. A card with 2 to 3 sayings that you would like to be your every morning wake up words.
c. A card that will be your script for making your own morning recordings to wake up to. If you wake up with others and don’t feel comfy doing that, consider using headphones or you can keep the script on the card and just keep it to glance at until you memorize it and can recite it silently in your mind. You might be surprised, your waking partner might dig the recordings too….so make it and then try it out before you assume they would not like it.
2. Make a recording!
a. As I mentioned above, use your tablet or an iPod rather than your phone if possible.
b. Most devices have built in voice recorders. I use the app Voice Recorder Pro and really like it.
c. Pick out some soothing music that might be playing in the background from another device while you record the voice part of the recording.
d. I usually try to make my recordings shortly after I wake up so that I am still in a calm morning vibe and so is my voice. I want the background noises to be reflective of a calm morning, such as bird sounds, cat purring, etc.
3. Put some amazing lotion and face cream near your bed. Lotion with arnica is also a nice idea as it is anti-inflammatory, and when we wake up we are a bit swollen and sluggish in body, so it helps get things moving.
4. VOW TO LOVE MORNINGS! No matter what your relationship is with mornings and waking up, that can change.
5. FEEL GOOD! BE GRATEFUL! COME INTO JOY! These are all decisions. Make the decision to do these things NOW!
In the meantime, enjoy your morning FEEL GOOD practices and keep them building your beautiful days. Please go to My FEEL GOOD Way Facebook page, like it and tell us your morning stories. Are you good at them, or is this where you struggle.
Thank you so much for the time you took to read this blog and the effort you are putting into FEELING GOOD in your life!
Blessings to us ALL and FEEL GOOD!
Margo and Lilli